Fearless Leaders

Be prepared to be questioned on your actions and worse, your intentions. Being a leader means being different. But while they profess to respect you and love you for being different that is exactly why they are also going to beat you mercilessly. Where you have no agenda other than the general good you will be accused of furthering a vested interest. Where your intentions are entirely honourable dark aspersions will be cast on your motives. Assumptions will be made about you and perceptions will quietly be constructed. Then they will box you into a category and deal with you like something the cat dragged in. So you see, leadership is a very lonely business. With no one who can quite understand you or your actions. All your actions will be held up against the personal interest of those who are affected and then, even if there is a semblance of a conflict you will be condemned as being selfish or uncaring. So be warned, build your internal capacity to withstand pain. Conquer the need to be accepted and loved! Learn to be fearless by realizing that death is inevitable. No matter what you achieve, what influence and money you have, you will still, surely, die. So, why should you be afraid of anything or anyone ? Leaders walk a lonely path and are never afraid of standing up and being counted for their principles! Fame and wealth are fickle, principles are everything...that's the DNA of a leader!

Winged Dreams

As a little boy Shyamal dreamed of flying those magnificent flying machines that take to the skies so gracefully! He would imagine sitting in the cockpit and charting a safe course over land and sea not just for himself but for many others. As he grew up life threw up many challenges not least being disdain from teachers who never understood him. While his father loved Shyamal dearly he harbored a strong desire for him to join the family business.

Throughout his childhood and well into his eventful adolescence Shyamal kept his dream alive. Every time academic pressures threatened to overwhelm him he would retreat into a private world in which he vusialized flying aircraft of all kinds. The boring accountancy classes were the perfect runway from which his fertile imagination took off! Since his heart was in the cockpit and not in the ledger books he neither did well in his BCom exams nor did he succumb to familial pressure to join the well-established business.

The family held intense discussions with Shyamal about his career. Through it all his mother was a refuge of unconditional love and encouragement. As a friend and mentor to the family for over 25 years I was naturally concerned about the imbroglio. At one particular meeting I could see the tension eating into the vitals of the family. But I could also see the passion for flying that was consuming Shyamal.

Having observed him for years while he was growing up I also knew that Shyamal’s motor skills, hand-eye coordination, powers of observation and ability to act decisively made him a natural as a flyer. I also realized that he nurtured a mortal fear of being grounded, in a chair, behind a desk. That was a recipe for disaster!

Shyamal was destined to fly! I was convinced that if he pursued a career in flying Shyamal would metamorphose from an unhappy, brash young man with a devil-may-care attitude into a responsible, mature, super-dependable, balanced, happy and successful professional. I was convinced that this young man was born to fly! Fortunately, that was exactly what I was able to encourage the family to realize too. And so, Shyamal spread his wings!

The transformation was not only amazing; it was as dramatic as it was unbelievable! And, awe-inspiring! Within 2 years, a young man who was academically disinterested during his school and college years studied, mastered and passed literally with flying colours every exam that he needed to take in maths, physics, chemistry, principles of flight, navigation and what have you! From rookie to qualified commercial pilot in 24 months!

While he was at the Baroda Flying Club I ran into Shyamal at the Baroda Airport; that was when I shared my dream with him. I said to him, “ Shyamal, one day, soon, you will fly a state-of-art Boeing 737 as Commander and I will be onboard as a proud passenger.” On 25^th July 2012 that dream was fulfilled when I flew Jetairways 9W 2103 from Mumbai to Kochi with Captain Shyamal Asher in command. I’ll never be happier or prouder during a flight! 

It just proves that if we keep our dreams alive with focus, determination, perseverance and fearlessness the dream is bound to become reality!

Thank you Capt Shyamal Asher for inspiring me!

Fear Prevents Sharing

In close personal relationships people are expected to share all aspects of their life with each other. And yet sharing is constrained and inhibited. Haven't you heard the refrains " you're not sharing" and you're keeping secrets from me" ! In your own relationships haven't you experienced the other person holding back many experiences from you ? Haven't you held back deeply personal experiences from your best friend, spouse, lover and soulmate ? And doesn't such a holding back create stress and recriminations in hurly burly of daily life ? Don't they erect barriers in relationships?

Why do people hold back from sharing experiences, doubts, fears, worries, problems, sorrows, and expectations from even their most intimate loved ones ?

The answer is simple: fear!

• Fear of judgment: He fears that you will judge him and think less of him and in that way you will distance yourself from him. For example a gay friend of mine once held back from sharing his gay nature fearing that he would lose my friendship; he feared that I would judge him and drop him. Only when he was sure that I would not judge him and walk away from him did he share his life fully. Today, some 20 years later we are the closest of friends! And, I'm sure I can share everything with him!
• Fear of Not Being Understood: She feels that you will never understand her because your approach to life is very different. Why try to share when you are so different and insensitive that you will not even make an effort to understand a different point of view or experience ?
• Fear of Not Being Listened to: He feels that trying to share something with you is pointless. That's because you simply won't even listen. Forget agreeing with him; you won't even let him communicate what's on his mind before jumping in and dismantling not only his ideas but also his persona! He therefore believes that you don't care and you're too full of yourself. So why try to share ? In any case your ideas are what are going to carry the day and his ideas are going to be buried under a mountain of rebuttals. He has no incentive to share at all!
• Fear Of Abuse: She will never share anything with you if you have demonstrated a pattern of becoming angry and losing control of your behavior and words. Abuse and anger are very close and if nasty words flow in a torrent sparked by anger, she is never going to open up to you again. Why would she risk her self-esteem by sharing? After all, self-esteem is the most precious possession she has! She can't bear to have her self-esteem wounded by your abuse!
• Fear of Exposure: He fears that by sharing with you he's risking exposure! Very simply put, he just can't trust you to keep confidences. Perhaps you've talked to someone else about some confidential matter he once shared with you; so he's lost the confidence that you can hold secrets. He is afraid that you will leak his secrets and that will open him to ridicule and harm. 
• Fear Of Boomerangs: She's mortally scared that you will use against her something sensitive, precious and important that she once shared with you. This is especially true if you continue to rub salt into her wounds and specialize in not just touching but sawing at her raw nerves! Do you keep harping on her weaknesses or her circumstances and run her down in the choicest words ? Do you make disparaging remarks on specific areas of her life, her relationships and her values ? If so, you can be sure that she will never trust you with her weakest moments because in your hands that is knowledge which you will use without compunction in a fit of anger to behead her like the Australian aborigines use boomerangs! 

Sharing doesn't have much to do with your partner in the relationship. It has everything to do with you! Your words, your conduct, your patience and your breadth, depth and love as a human being are what create a conducive atmosphere for your partner to share in your relationship. If you deeply desire sharing, you simply must eliminate the fear that you have introduced into the relationship. Remove the fear by making deep and substantive internal changes in yourself and experience the miracle that your partner's sharing will create in your relationship! Why share ? Because, sharing perpetuates relationships.

Success Mantra

Success Mantra

·      What does your career hold for you as it unfolds over the next 30 years ?

o   Huge opportunities for expanding your skills and knowledge

o   Experience of varied professional situations

o   Daunting challenges

o   Reward & recognition

o   Acountability & responsibility

o   Personal triumph and tragedy

·      How do you navigate this stormy sea successfully over the next 30 years?

o   First of all, build a “can do” attitude

o   Learn “possibility thinking”

o   Commit to personal learning every second

o   Reflect on every event and then assimilate the learning into your consciousness so that the next event gets the benefit of your learning from  previous events; this is called experience

o   At the same time don’t become a prisoner of the past; always look at the future not just as extension of the past but as an opportunity to create something new and valuable by traversing the tough path of personal change

o   Remember Peter Drucker’s famous words “ the best way to predict the future is to create it”

·      Here’s a success mantra for you : RILR where:

o   R stands for results; results are everything; efforts are only important insofar as they create results; mere effort means nothing

o   I stands for integrity, ethics, character and honesty; don’t deviate even a fraction from this because ruin is certain if you do; also, your reputation is your brand equity and that is entirely dependent on the big “I” of Integrity

o   L stands for learning; you know better than I do that in today’s world what is current today is obsolete tomorrow; therefore survival demands that you learn continuously; commit to reading, writing and thinking to help you deliver results consistently

o   R stands for relationships; they provide the foundation of your life, personal and professional; don’t just create superficial social media networks; instead, invest in deep and meaningful relationships that provide support, encouragement and feedback for you throughout your life; but remember, relationships need investment of your time, care and love; in other words, relationships are all about giving, not taking; when you give, you receive multiple times what you gave

Detaching Expectations

Assumptions eat into relationships like acid corrodes metal. Slowly, insidiously, the damage occurs, continuously, from within the sanctum sanctorum of the most sacred relationships. Assumptions fuel thoughts and thoughts create perception. Then the inevitable translation of thoughts into action results in words and behaviour. And then the explosive counter behaviour is sparked and the rest is history! Arguments, fights, harsh words, sulking, separation and hurt; these are all the toxic wastes that pepper the landscape of the most loving relationships.

Root cause of trauma

Our relationships run into stormy waters time and time again when anger and ego dominate. The root of both anger and ego is attachment. This is a pernicious malady that ruins not only love but also lives. Krishna says in the Bhagavad Gita that attachment to objects, thoughts, feelings and people guarantees total destruction. Indeed it prevents the attainment of the objective of life as a human being, namely, liberation and union with the Lord. Attachment sparks possessiveness which in turn generates anger, jealousy and a host of toxic thoughts, feelings and words.

Transcending attachment

Detachment is the antidote to attachment. This sounds like indifference and disinterest. But its not! In fact its an entirely different concept altogether! Detachment means to filter out all the toxicity from the attachment; with possesiveness, anger and jealousy eliminated what remains is pristine love, sparkling and pulsating with Divinity. Detachment is to realize the Unity and Oneness with the other, indeed with all creation. 

Meaning of Detachment

The key to detachment is to understand the meaning of attachment. When I believe and say “you are mine and therefore you must live and act in the manner I want and if you dont I will be hurt, angry and abusive and will always assert my rights over you” that is attachment. So, I imprison you in my expectations! Your behavior is subject to my control and approval! That is a recipe for disaster because no one can live by the standards, codes and expectations of another. Human beings are by definition autonomous and independent. To bind a person in our expectations is to shackle him and suffocate him. Wont a person who is bound or being choked struggle to free himself ? What if we are bound and suffocated by the expectations of our loved ones ? Will that not put us under enormous pressure?

At the end of the day each of us must let go the expectations we have from others. All we can do is to love and give without expecting anything in return. That is the path to freedom from anger, stress and hurt. We can then accept what is given to us as a kind of bonus, with gratitude and humility. We can be free and unfettered because we expect nothing! So detachment is actually detachment from expectation. Only if we do that can we live and love completely. The alternative is to burn with disappointment every second of our life. The choice is ours: do we wallow in pain or do we savor the harmony, happiness, freedom and fulfillment that detachment promises?

Beyond Proof

Have you noticed how you have to prove yourself every moment ?

• ·      You’ve got to prove to yourself that you are good-looking so you pose in front of the mirror
• ·      You’ve got to prove that you are intelligent and well-informed so you inject your views and opinions into the midst of every conversation
• ·      You’ve got to prove that you are right so you thump the desk and stomp on feelings
• ·      You’ve got to prove that you’re worthy of attention so you throw tantrums
• ·      You’ve got to prove that you are big and powerful so you throw your weight around
• ·      You’ve got to prove that you deserve love so you let your volcanic emotions spew out red-hot emotions
• ·      You’ve got to prove your integrity so you’ve got to keep records and release them online
• ·      You’ve got to prove that there’s nothing to hide so you bare your soul
• ·      You’ve got to prove that your competence is world-class so you trot out the testimonials and data
• ·      You’ve got to prove remorse so you’ve got to commit seppuku
• ·      You’ve got to prove that you are a gentleman so you come last
• ·      You’ve got to prove that you have no vested interest so you forego reward
• ·      You’ve got to prove that your intentions are pure so you plead your case
• ·      You’ve got to prove that you’re innocent so you fight the battle
• ·      You’ve got to prove that you’re not guilty so you take the beating
• ·      You’ve got to prove that you’re not a coward so you don’t run away
• ·      You’ve got to prove that you’re not someone else
•  

Living is proof! Because the temporal world will never tire of demanding proof. Transcending the need to prove is spiritual progress. Going deep within to that level of eternal unity and security where nothing affects you. No turbulence, no upheaval, no threat, no fear. Realizing that you are not the body, not the mind, not the past , not the future, not the ego but the Supreme Reality that is ever Present. Accepting that your mistakes and errors and follies are all milestones on the journey to the Self and therefore mandatory. Not for the weak since the path is steep and paved with searing emotion. Chanting the holy name is the staff that you hold firmly and lean on while going beyond the need and demand to prove. And that is life, not just living. Then and then only can you love and be loved.

Multitasking Myth

In today's hi-speed world more and more is squeezed into the 24 constant hours in a day. Therefore, everyone is perennially short of time. Consequently, many activities run concurrently. People are processing multiple tasks simultaneously. They assume that doing several things at the same time is the best and only way to succeed. Just like microprocessors perform myriads of computations per second! But there the analogy breaks down. People are vastly different from computers even though many human beings have now morphed into near robotic zombies!

Is multitasking inevitable or desirable ? The answer is a firm no on both counts! Surprised or indignant ? Stop for a moment and think about what I'm about to say!

Completing a task and meeting a deadline is not important. What is important is completing a task as per specifications, without errors, with total accuracy as per deadline, with excellence. That is a huge difference. Knocking things together just to meet a deadline contains the seeds of failure within it. That's because the hurried, stressed-out performance of a task  automatically reduces attention to detail and therefore guarantees errors. Hurry and stress, as is well known, extract a fearsome toll in terms of damage to health and relationships. Errors force you to incur  huge costs for correction which in turn lead to time overruns. Add to that the loss of reputation and credibiity and the costs are truly mindboggling. Success can never accompany such astronomical costs.

Multitasking sets you up for failure. This sounds counterintuitive and contrary to conventional wisdom. But reflect a moment and you'll see what I'm getting at. If you slow down and do one thing at a time your focus and concentration on what you're doing will climb exponentially. When that happens, you'll begin delivering error-free output first time right (which incidentally is what total quality is all about). Complete one task fully and then move to the next. Close one issue and then take up the next. That way you'll be able to devote your undivided attention to the task at hand. The quality of your work is then bound to increase. While the time per activity may be marginally higher, accuracy and quality will be exponentially better. Since you wont spend any time going back and fixing errors, your projects will take the same or less time. Your 24 hours will become far more productive and effective.

So if you do one thing at a time how do you handle zillions of tasks that have to be completed as per deadline? 

This is where your discrimination and planning come into play. Learn to differentiate between what is urgent and what is important; the two are rarely the same. Very often, much more often than we care to admit, procrastination and complacency combine insidiously and make us neglect that which is important. That's because the really important priorities rarely make a hue and cry and clamour for our attention. So we conveniently neglect them until the eleventh hour. Then panic sets in! Important has now become a life-threatening urgent, emergency! 

If you are constantly lurching from one urgent-emergency to another its a sure sign that you are neither discriminating between what is important and urgent nor are you planning and preparing adequately. Because you are under such extreme time pressure your concentration is all but absent. Since you are constantly worrying about the outcome you are taking your eyes off the ball and so your work is always shoddy.

How do you make a difference to your work style ?

First, understand what is truly important and what is urgent. Pour your attention on the important stuff. To understand this, take an example and look at your relationships. Strengthening your relationships is clearly important. That means lavishing time and attention on people you care about. If you dont do that nobody is likely to complain vociferously or violently (at least not most of the time). But after a while, your loved ones will move away or become cold to you. Then it becomes a crisis and the relationship is on the verge of breakdown; mending it becomes an urgent necessity. The important has now grown fangs and is about to go for your jugular in the garb of an urgent Dracula! The fact of the matter is that your neglect converted the important saint into an urgent vampire. Who is responsible ? I must of course hasten to add that an emergency like an accident or sudden illness or death (God forbid) is outside the scope of what I've just said. You do need to drop everything and respond to those emergencies. Bit its applicable to all else.

Second, allocate higher priority to the important items on your list. The most important items deserve the highest priority.

Third, allot a greater amount of time for the important items.  Start early. Wake up earlier, drop aimless wandering and spend time preparing for your assignments. Give adequate time for yourself to complete the project with excellence. 

Fourth, plan as far ahead as you can.  However, keep some empty spaces in your schedule because unforseen events are bound to occur. That way you'll be able to respond to some crisis or emergency as it arises. Think of all possibilities when you plan your schedule.

Fifth, learn to say no when you are overloaded already. Dont take on an ever increasing load just because you want to please everyone. If you do that you wont do justice to your responsibilities and you are bound to fail or even suffer breakdowns of various kinds (health, relationships, financial, emotional); your own life, reputation and well being are at stake. And let's face it, nobody really cares about any of that except you! If you turn in poor quality because you are overloaded, no one is going to give you any margins any way.

And finally, think and re-think your priorities constantly. To do that you've got to set your direction. What's really important to you ? Where do you want to be ten years from now ? These are the questions that you need to stop and ponder over often. That's when your priorities become clearer.

When you learn to think clearly through these steps you'll automatically slow down and do one thing at a time with excellence. Of course this takes practice and dedication. Then, multitasking, fragmented attention, stress and lack of concentration will all decline significantly. That's when success bestows her luscious fruits on you!

Transcending Judgment

Have you noticed how people avoid sharing their intimate secrets with you? Doesnt it bother you and indeed, hurt you, to find out that your partner or child or even best friend did not confide in you ? Having enjoyed the deepest and richest of those relationships with you they chose to keep their moments of truth away from you! Why then, you wonder in agony, did they chose to ignore you and hide those most personal of experiences from you?

The answer is not obvious. And yet it lies in that most wonderful and timeless lesson Jesus taught us aeons ago. "Judge ye not" he cautioned, and then followed up with the admonition "for who are ye to judge?" Dont be holier than thou because you come fully loaded with all the faults yourself. How can you then point the finger at someone else? Arent you taking on the position that Transactional Analysis categorizes as "I'm ok, your not ok"?. Iron out the blemishes in yourself before you chastise or blame someone else. As Gandhiji showed, demonstrate with your own personal thought, word and deed what change is all about. And even then you dont have the right to paint someone else black!

Jesus goes much further than that, of course. "Let him cast the first stone who has not sinned" he says pungently! If you are going to stone a sinner, pay heed! Have you sinned yourself, and who hasnt, by the way ? If you've committed any trespasses, be warned, says Jesus, you've forfeited the right to label anyone else a sinner. How many us can claim a record as pure as the driven snow ? You can say, "to err is human", that everyone makes mistakes and is imperfect and that being human is by definition a search for perfection. That is exactly why we cannot tar someone else for making a mistake or committing a "sin". 

A lot of the time we unconsciously put a distance from a person who looks different or subscribes to a different lifestyle or value system from us. That someone somehow looks or feels "bad" or "sinful". We take stereotypical positions about an entire race or denomination or community. And so the difference grows and misunderstandings are embellished into myths and assumptions. Walls are reinforced and communication evaporates. A lack of understanding curdles into dislike and hatred. Just because other people are different! Just because we have  passed judgement on others!

The minute we pass judgement two things happen. 


One, we somehow lower the other person in our esteem and begin to mistrust him. Our relationship with him changes forever. The same level of closeness or intimacy can never be regained. Our behaviour towards him changes subtly at first but far more noticeably in a short time. Second, the other person senses the change immediately and hurts immeasurably. Very often he'll hit back. And then he too begins to adjust his behaviour. The death knell of the relationship has well and truly been sounded!


So, why dont people share personal experiences sometimes ? The answer is a pathological fear of being judged. They dont have the confidence that you'd understand without judgment. Somehow they feel that you'll label them as "bad" and not love them anymore. That you'll think less of them. That you'll stop trusting them. That you'll put a distance with them. That they'll lose you. They simply cant take all these huge risks! So, they'll play safe and simply not confide in you.


The onus is really on you! You are the one who has not instilled in them the confidence that you'll be with them and for them no matter what. Its your behaviour and your words that have prevented from enjoying that comfort and safety of complete acceptance. The shoe is really on your foot. Its up to you to demonstrate a loving acceptance of all the vagaries or eccentricities of those close to you! You dont have to agree with all they say or do but you certainly can refrain from judging them in any way.


Isnt that better than being hurt when they dont share the most intimate aspects of their life with you ? Isnt it far more enriching to transcend judgment of others all the time ?

Leadership Results

Leadership exists for results. The two are inseparable. Like the two sides of the same coin. You cant be a leader without delivering results. Nor can you post results without being a leader. One cant exist without the other. Never create a semantic dichotomy between leadership and results!

You have been placed in a position of leadership because, bosses, peers, subordinates and all other stakeholders are convinced that you bring to the table a formidable array of capabilities. Your repertoire of knowledge, skills, attitudes and talents are expected to synergize with your character and personality. And that creative combustion will hopefully propel the organization onto a higher trajectory. 

A higher trajectory can only be attained by the booster rocket of consistent results. That translates into specific, measureable, binary, time-defined and challenging outcomes achieved by ethical means. So, all the disciplines of execution and operations are interwoven into the definition of leadership. 

Responsibility for quarterly results as well as strategic direction rests entirely on the leader. Short and long term results are the yin and yang of leadership. Unfortunately, very few people in leadership positions are able to nuance their style to deliver an effective balance between these two sometimes conflicting requirements. But those who do cross over into the pantheon of great leaders. What good is strategic direction if the quarterly cash flows run out and start cannibalizing reserves ? Similarly, what is the benefit of bulging cash reserves if the long term survivability of the organization is neither visualized nor invested in ?

Leadership is therefore all about creating results while at the same time creating the capacity to continuously deliver results!

Encouragement Magic

Everyone wants affirmation and validation. This is a need that wells up from the deepest recesses of our being. No matter what station, age or circumstance, every human being needs to feel accepted and valued. Anyone who wants to enjoy rich and rewarding relationships simply has to understand this basic truth. However this understanding has to be translated into specific behaviour. How do you do that ?

Its really quite simple! Just be an encouraging presence under all circumstances. Never say "I told you so". Instead of looking for faults, focus on strengths. People are usually painfully aware of their own shortcomings so there's no need to rub it in. In any case, are you perfect ? What gives you the right to adopt a holier than thou attitude ? Have you perfected yourself ? Before we criticize, point the finger or lay the blame let's remember that all that will simply create resentment in the other person. This is especially so when the criticism is unsolicited. And let's face it, most of the time your criticism and indeed your input or even advice is suo motu, given without being asked. 

If you are really serious about harmonizing and enriching your relationships, change your paradigm from advice and criticisim to encouragement, appreciation. Learn to ask open ended questions like " how about this ?". When you encourage a person and appreciate her effort or success no matter how small, you're actually helping that person grow to gargantuan proportions. That's because encouragement and appreciation are translated internally into affirmation and validation that nourish self-esteem and self-worth. These in turn build self confidence and courage both of which are the harbingers of results.

Encouraging creates magical change by creating a motivation to excel. A leader is always constructive and looking for ways to build people internally. That's how he can build not just skyscrapers but also successful organizations and families. So, always look for reasons to appreciate, encourage and celebrate!

Universal Aspirations

Everybody has the same aspirations! Even though every human being is placed in differing circumstances the aspirations are all, more or less, the same. What do we all really want ? Each of us wants to be happy, healthy, prosperous. We care about being well fed and well-heeled so that we can provide for our loved ones. We'll will do everything to build a roof over our heads. We want to stay healthy so that our income and way of life is protected. After our material needs for food, clothing and shelter are satisfied we look to the higher order psychological needs to be met. We want self esteem and the esteem of society. We want to be recognized; we have a need to belong to families, groups, clubs, associations, organizations. Very few of us can eschew societal moorings. We want to look good in front of others; we want to feel good and feel fulfilled. Ultimately, we want to become our own ideal selves, the best we can be.   Somehow, we strive to arrive at the pinnacle of personal and professional growth. At that point we'd really love to be above the fray. This is what Abraham Maslow pointed out many decades ago. 

The commonality of our aspirations is a great unifier.  Our differences really are only on the surface level. Deeper down, we're all the same because every human being aspires to the same things physically and psychologically. Arent we all really searching for love! As Mother Theresa once said, the poverty of love is really the worst penury of all. Validation, acceptance, respect, and love...these, and not just cells and genes and chromosomes, indeed are the building blocks of life. The Bible ( Corinthians) affirms emphatically that of these three things, faith, hope and love, love is the greatest. All of us can only live if love exists in our lives.

This is exactly what Indian spirituality is all about too,. While our bodies come in myriad sizes, shapes and configurations, they are all mere vehicles driven by the atman. And the atman is just a reflection of the Supreme Reality. The body is the temple in which the Supreme resides. The physical entity is actually a city with 9 doors ; the resident of this city, the in-dweller, so to speak is the atman. The atman is the same, unchanged, unborn,  omnipresent facet of the Supreme. Our bodies are just the clothing worn and discarded, as the Gita teaches us, by the atman.  So we are all fundamentally the same...the atman. We simply drive different brands and models of flesh and blood vehicles!

If we can grasp this supreme truth we'll be changed forever for the better! No more will we try to create separations that identify only with the bodies. We'll realize the he is just like us and she too is just the same. Why then should we fight and argue and spread distress and sadness ? Cant we help others become the best they can be ? We'll then understand that this ts the way to become the best we can be. The surest way to achieve our aspirations is to  focus on helping others achieve their aspirations! Once this realization seeps into our consciousness we'll see the unity in all human beings, indeed in all beings, in life itself. That's when we can lead the way outwards from deep within. That's when we can lead others because leadership, like charity, begins from within!

Expert Demotivator

Do you want to become an expert demotivator ? If so, you can try the following!

Discourage everyone from everything. Never appreciate, instead, find fault all the time. Be very, very, generous with criticism. Be very, very, stingy with praise. When you appraise or evaluate, ensure that your grades are never A; make people believe that A is almost impossible to achieve. Overpower everyone around you with logic and argument. Abandon even a semblance of listening. Believe that your ideas are the best and only worthwhile ideas. Think of yourself as perfect and everyone else as deeply flawed. Make it your mission to spout advice like a fountain and spray everyone with it. Assume, presume and prejudge! Give the least importance to everyone else and their needs. Be totally self-centered and selfish. Insist on hogging the credit and indeed, the limelight. When things go wrong launch a witchunt and then play the blame game. Withhold resources and information. Create conditions for people to fail. Lay traps for others. When someone falls into a hole, gloat. Always tell people " I told you so" when problems occur. In a crisis head for the hills leaving your team to face the music. Threaten, cajole and emotionally blackmail everyone else to get your way. Dither and dally but dont ever be decisive. Try to shift responsibilities and decisions on to others. Say one thing and do another. Be late all the time. Talk constantly on the mobile phone when you are with someone or in a meeting especially when you are the boss. Specialize in flip-flops and inconsistency. Let your people be always unclear about what you stand for and what you really believe in. Ensure that you are always partial and play favorites. Talk badly about your colleagues or subordinates to their subordinates. Respect for another person is something that you must never show. And, make sure you use foul language even in the presence of ladies.

Many of us have a natural talent for all this! Be warned: if you do behave this way, you'll walk alone because no one can bear to be with you.

Idea Factory

Its not your idea that counts! Its the best idea that makes the difference. So, let's stop the continuous effort to take credit for the best idea. Instead, let's create a nurturing and non-threatening environment in the groups and teams we work with. When members of the team are involved they feel valued. When they are sure that their ideas will never suffer ridicule no matter how outlandish they may be, the ideas will flow copiously. The more the ideas the better the chance that some may click. Only a very small fraction of ideas  floated will ever come to fruition or even be worth working on. Therefore, the leader must create the conditions for the the free flow of a very large number of ideas. Only then, the best ideas, maybe 1% of the total number of ideas, will emerge. The leader must ensure that idea generation and idea evaluation are separated by time and space. In other words, never evaluate an idea when its being presented. Instead, record, document and capture the idea for evaluation later. That's when ideas will be churned out in large numbers. In group meetings and discussions the leader must constantly guard against shooting down someone's thoughts or tips. They must be acknowledged without necessarily being agreed to. Then, the list of captured ideas can be sifted and sorted, analyzed and rated, prior to acceptance and implementation. The probability of a winning idea emerging will then climb dramatically. In today's environment, leadership is all about building an idea generating factory. 

Walk Alone

Leadership is not for the fainthearted! Personal pain is the handmaiden of those who lead. And those who lead walk alone. They stumble and bruise, flounder and bleed from a thousand wounds in the dark loneliness of despair, setbacks, pressure and problems. No one can truly understand and empathize with their personal suffering.

Leaders must bear the cross of holding confidences, delivering on expectations and being the custodians of other people's motivation. Every word and action is scrutinized without pity and the judgment is as swift as it is merciless. Even when they make decisions in good faith their motives and fairness are questioned. They are not allowed the luxury of feelings and emotion; they are denied love and tenderness in their weakest moments. Leaders are condemned as insincere even when they've given their all.

When accolades and approbation abound, praise and sycophancy obscure the pain that lies in wait. Like a cobra coiled to strike, the trauma of being misunderstood is just a heart beat away. When injury occurs the venom quickly paralyses. It takes large doses of determination, courage and generosity of heart for the leader to recover without the twin scars of bitterness and cynicism. But a scarred leader is no leader at all; so its mandatory for the leader to build the capacity to absorb and overcome pain without  being "negativized"by the experience.

Staying on the right side means doing the right thing even when it hurts. That means not lashing out under provocation; forgiving when taunted and sprayed with sarcasm; giving even when the receiver is spewing hate; rolling with the punches; grace under pressure. Loving while dying inside is living; in healing the other lies the healing of the healer.

So, get to work right away on the inside and build these capabilities. Take out each weakness and put it on the table; look at it; examine it and then remake or remove. Learn to be calm by meditating every day; let hurt and dirt fall away like threadbare clothes. Then you can walk alone with poise and perfection and claim your leadership destiny. In that lonely walk lies your own personal growth!

Inside Work

Unless we work deep within ourselves we can't create a credible exterior persona. Since leadership can't be outsourced to anyone else, we have no choice but to examine our internal resources. Its a formidable endowment! Like descending into the bowels of the earth is necessary to mine coal and diamonds, its mandatory to descend into the depths of our own beings to re-possess the treasures within. Introspection is the key to good leadership.

Am I patient ? Do I appreciate other people enough? Am I prepared to view mistakes as way-stations en route to success? Can I let go power and pursue results instead? Can I make the mental switch from "people are important resources" to "people are THE resource".

What does it take to answer these questions in the affirmative ? A difficult, painful internal transformation no doubt! Dropping long-held belief systems, altering mindsets and re-tooling attitudes. How do I do all this painful stuff ?

One way is to enrol in a personal growth lab. The other and more sustainable, substantive way is to embark upon a spiritual journey. The first step is to adopt a mantra and begin the practice of meditation. Now, doesnt this sound rather wacky ? Connecting leadership and spirituality ? Surely this is some mumbo jumbo that is best reserved for the evening of one's life!

Actually, a true and complete leader is one who is in full control of himself at all levels including mastery of the senses. In the Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2 verse 48 Krishna says that all action is to be done in a state of yoga in which no attachment exists to results; further, such a state of equipoise is in turn the meaning of yoga.  The funny thing is that non-attachment to results increases concentration in delivery or performance which in itself increases the probability of achieving the results!

A state of equipoise is exactly what a leader needs! Balance is needed if courage and decision making are to blossom. And that is precisely what mantra chanting and meditation prepare us for!

Making the transition within is a precondition for achieving results without. Unless we can master the internal turbulence we cant navigate external storms. And unless we can lead ourselves we can't lead others!

Leadership Can't Be Outsourced

Leadership is that elusive element that is necessary for results to flow in any setting. No matter what other resource you have, the crucial ingredient that needs to be present in copious quantities is leadership; only then can teams and organizations produce results consistently. Consistent results are a precondition for survival. You always have a choice : to accept a leadership position or not. Having accepted the position you have to embrace it with enthusiasm and sincerity. You can't speak with a forked tongue; neither can you act in wimpy or wishy-washy ways. Clarity of thought and results, an unwavering commitment to do what is right, courage to make decisions, readiness to accept responsibility for failures, a continuous commitment to learning, acceptance of feedback and empowerment are all the foundation stones of leadership. Every one of these fundamental aspects is the sole responsibility of the leader. He and he alone has to ensure that these foundations are strong and ever-protected. This is his full time job and key focus area. He can't palm it off to anyone else. He'll simply have to do it himself. That's because leadership cant be outsourced!